Sex and the City

It's weird. I sometimes feel like i'm living it. The TV show, i mean.
My relationship life has been such a roller-coaster of recent. All the breaking up and getting back together with ES. And then that short lived stint with IB. I dunno.

I've turned guys into a game of sort. A game i'm just learning to play. but still, it can be kind of fun. My most recent is with this guy GL. i met him through salsa also. There's something about him that's very attractive to me--it's not his looks, it's something else. He's more mature and experienced. I was thinking about it--i've never dated anyone mature and experienced. I mean, GL is far from unattractive. but that's not what draws me to him. somehow i feel like he has alot to teach me in terms of experiences, sexual and otherwise. He's not looking for a serious relationship, which in a way should send off warning signals. But we have this strange connection. He does care about me. He doesn't want to do anything that will hurt me. And to be honest, i don't think I really want to get into a serious relationship with him. So it works out well.

He has a lot of confidence though. And he's very israeli, yet worldly in some way. תימני–ישראלי, yet well travelled. And i think the thing i find most attractive is the way in which he's attracted to me. Not in a serious kind of way, but still in a very caring kind of way. He really wants to treat me properly, for me to be satisfied by whatever happens between us.

I invited him over for a movie the other night. We're very straight with each other, there's no beating around the bush. We were sitting on the couch talking after the movie, and it was very clear that there was some tension going on. He said he wasn't going to make any move--if anything was going to happen, i would have to be the one to initiate it. Cuz he didn't want to do anything that i wasn't ok with. I asked him if he wanted to stay the night. I actually got my period that night, so i told him in advance that there would be no sex involved, but that i think it would still be fun. It's funny, the way we interact is not like a one-night-stand kind of situation. He's affectionate and sweet and caring. When we went to get into bed, he said he'd look away while i changed (he said it like not checking me out would take a lot of effort). i said there was no need for that, so he looked :) It felt good to see that a guy was admiring me as i took off my shirt. And getting into a not-empty bed was real nice. Nothing beyond flirtation had happened between us up till that point, so when the lights went off, and i kissed him, that was his cue. We had a pretty amazing night together. It even continued on in the morning, after we woke up. It was great to feel that someone was so incredibly attracted to me. He even said that it made him feel great to know that i was enjoying myself. To hear my breathing change, my moans... He said it was even better than cumming himself (neither of us actually climaxed that night/morning, but under different circumstances, maybe). We stayed in bed together well into the afternoon, at which point we finally dragged ourselves out of bed because he had to go study for his exam, and i had to get ready for purim :)

Which makes me wonder--why is it so important to define a relationship? What we have is the definition of undefined. And it's great. He's fun to hang out with, he calls me, the physical stuff is great, AND technically i'm still single, just not alone--what more could i ask for?