I want it :)
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Financial issues
So, I have a new crisis.
Because the military/political mess that's going on right now isn't enough. And the confusion I'm having about my relationship with BA won't do either... (though I think I've pretty much come to the conclusion that it's just not going to work.) And the fact that I'm massively behind on my studying for my exam in psychiatry...
My yearly scholarship to cover my med school tuition is not going to be happening this year. Now, I know, I should just be amazingly thankful for my good luck and fortune that it has covered the past 3 years of tuition. And thank God, my family has money to help me out for this last year. I just can't help but be anxious about the whole situation. $31,500 just for tuition. That would take about 10 years to pay back on the mini salary that I'll be making, not even taking into account interest. That's IF I can even put away any money with such a small salary. Those are savings that I don't really have. And whatever I do have was going to be for a down payment for a house or something...
Anyway, that's my crisis. I suppose it would be wise to deal with the most immediate issue--my psych exam. So on that cheerful note: Good day!
Because the military/political mess that's going on right now isn't enough. And the confusion I'm having about my relationship with BA won't do either... (though I think I've pretty much come to the conclusion that it's just not going to work.) And the fact that I'm massively behind on my studying for my exam in psychiatry...
My yearly scholarship to cover my med school tuition is not going to be happening this year. Now, I know, I should just be amazingly thankful for my good luck and fortune that it has covered the past 3 years of tuition. And thank God, my family has money to help me out for this last year. I just can't help but be anxious about the whole situation. $31,500 just for tuition. That would take about 10 years to pay back on the mini salary that I'll be making, not even taking into account interest. That's IF I can even put away any money with such a small salary. Those are savings that I don't really have. And whatever I do have was going to be for a down payment for a house or something...
Anyway, that's my crisis. I suppose it would be wise to deal with the most immediate issue--my psych exam. So on that cheerful note: Good day!
Monday, May 31, 2010
My favorite flower
Wedding or not, I think these are stunning!
They're so simple, but totally sophisticated without overdoing it in the least!
And for a centerpiece of any sort...
They're so simple, but totally sophisticated without overdoing it in the least!
And for a centerpiece of any sort...
Thursday, May 20, 2010
BCBG MAX AZRIA Strapless Appliqué Dress
Check out this dress--isn't it cute?
And not too expensive, as wedding dresses go... under $400.
Would be great for a slightly less formal wedding :)
And not too expensive, as wedding dresses go... under $400.
Would be great for a slightly less formal wedding :)
Monday, May 17, 2010
News
I've been with this guy BA for over 4 months. after 2 months things were great. Amazing even. I like his family, get along with his friends... And his parents' house is really nice. But things have been up and down since then. I honestly don't know what to do with him. And this unsure-ness has been going on for a couple of months already.
See, there are 3 issues, probably somehow connected to each other. The first is a really big issue--דת. He isn't at all, and it's beginning to drive me crazy. The whole milk and meat/kosher thing, the shabbat thing, you name it. It's just really hard for me to imagine a real future with the guy--how could we live together, let alone raise kids and everything. And if there's no future-- do I want to continue a relationship like that? What's the point?
Then there's sex. He's got potential. He's caring and affectionate. I am definitely physically attracted to him--he's got a great build, and amazing skin :) And he's huge! There's just something that's not working. I don't cumm. My orgasms when I'm on my own have also been not as good as usual. I have a feeling that it could be related to taking the pill. But the orgasms do exist. And I've been able to orgasm during sex with ES since starting the pill, during our round three... So why? Why is it not working?
It might have something to do with the third issue. And that is, that for some reason, he makes me feel not totally comfortable. I know, bad sign--right? it's not that I'm uncomfortable when he's around... Just not TOTALLY comfortable. And perhaps that's why I can't cumm.
Anyway, that's the scoop. I'm gonna try to update more frequently. No promises tho...
חג שמח!
See, there are 3 issues, probably somehow connected to each other. The first is a really big issue--דת. He isn't at all, and it's beginning to drive me crazy. The whole milk and meat/kosher thing, the shabbat thing, you name it. It's just really hard for me to imagine a real future with the guy--how could we live together, let alone raise kids and everything. And if there's no future-- do I want to continue a relationship like that? What's the point?
Then there's sex. He's got potential. He's caring and affectionate. I am definitely physically attracted to him--he's got a great build, and amazing skin :) And he's huge! There's just something that's not working. I don't cumm. My orgasms when I'm on my own have also been not as good as usual. I have a feeling that it could be related to taking the pill. But the orgasms do exist. And I've been able to orgasm during sex with ES since starting the pill, during our round three... So why? Why is it not working?
It might have something to do with the third issue. And that is, that for some reason, he makes me feel not totally comfortable. I know, bad sign--right? it's not that I'm uncomfortable when he's around... Just not TOTALLY comfortable. And perhaps that's why I can't cumm.
Anyway, that's the scoop. I'm gonna try to update more frequently. No promises tho...
חג שמח!
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
End of an Era...
Eden and I ended up giving things a third try. Despite the second crashing and burning rather fast. Things were good for a bit. We both tried. He's really sweet. And he did all the right things. It's really nice to have someone who's there for you, who cares about you. Someone to do things with, to spend time with.
And the sex was great!
Unfortunately, what we had that first time just isn't there anymore. I couldn't let myself fall in love with him again. Perhaps at some level , it's partly because I got really hurt that first time. But I've also been through a lot since then. I found that he's really focused on keeping his past, and where he came from, a really big part of his life. And I'm more looking to discover the future. He wants to make sure he knows what "educated people" are "supposed to know"-- the classic canon of literature, history, art, music, etc. His world is very closed, focused on trying to protect itself. And I don't feel it would necessarily be good for me to try to open it up for him. It's just too much. I want someone who will open up the world for me as much as I do for him. When it came down to it-- I couldn't imagine being with him in the long run. It made me anxious and uneasy just thinking about it.
So, despite the fact that I honestly think he's a great guy and we have a great time together, I'm attracted to him, and he's amazingly supportive and caring, I couldn't see a point in dragging things out anymore. זה פשוט לא זה. So I ended it-- just last night. It was really hard to see him walk away and know that he wasn't ever coming back. We finally broke up what looks like for good. I mean, 3 strikes and you're out, right? But I think it was for the best.
And the sex was great!
Unfortunately, what we had that first time just isn't there anymore. I couldn't let myself fall in love with him again. Perhaps at some level , it's partly because I got really hurt that first time. But I've also been through a lot since then. I found that he's really focused on keeping his past, and where he came from, a really big part of his life. And I'm more looking to discover the future. He wants to make sure he knows what "educated people" are "supposed to know"-- the classic canon of literature, history, art, music, etc. His world is very closed, focused on trying to protect itself. And I don't feel it would necessarily be good for me to try to open it up for him. It's just too much. I want someone who will open up the world for me as much as I do for him. When it came down to it-- I couldn't imagine being with him in the long run. It made me anxious and uneasy just thinking about it.
So, despite the fact that I honestly think he's a great guy and we have a great time together, I'm attracted to him, and he's amazingly supportive and caring, I couldn't see a point in dragging things out anymore. זה פשוט לא זה. So I ended it-- just last night. It was really hard to see him walk away and know that he wasn't ever coming back. We finally broke up what looks like for good. I mean, 3 strikes and you're out, right? But I think it was for the best.
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