We broke up last week... after a couple weeks of anxiousness and trying to figure out what i wanted, it just wasn't working. I think he would've broken things off too if not for the fact that he was the one to break it off last time, and then asked to try again.
It's sad and lonely a bit. But i do feel some kind of relief. It really is over this time. I mean, we haven't spoken at all since that saturday night when we said good-bye. i guess in a way it's good. This time it's easier to digest. and although it's still hard, i'm not heartbroken. Just disillusioned. i mean, how am i supposed to find someone that i really want to be with? And how do i figure out a way to make it work? I don't even know if i believe that it really can work in the long run. And at least in the meantime, i don't know if i have the emotional energy that i would need to be in a relationship.
So, should i just fall back to the non-serious thing? is it worth it just for the physical attention and boost of feeling attractive? will i still get that feeling of closeness from it? or will it just end up feeling empty and disappointing?
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