Birthday!

He took me to Rhodes!!
The whole going up north was just a cover for the surprise trip. I only found out when we got to the airport :)
It was AMAZING! We had a great time. Lots of photos to prove it :) We rented a scooter and drove around the island. Lazed around on the beach. Explored the old city. It was a blast.

Update

So round two is going well.
He's great. The somewhat long distance thing is a bit of a bummer. But we manage to see each other a good amount. My elective here is pretty laid back-- I finish at a reasonable hour. And his schedule for the summer is pretty flexible. We spend most weekends together.
The sex has hugely improved. This weekend was a bit of a down, but I've managed to get to orgasm both during sex and separately. Still needs quite a bit of work, but I feel more comfortable with him than I ever have. And that seems to have improved things.
On wednesday he invited me to come with him to his friend's wedding. Next weekend, starting after to wedding, we're going up north together for a weekend, just the two of us. For my birthday. Can you believe I'm turning 26??

My ophthalmology elective is cool. I think I might want to be an ophthalmologist when I grow up :) It's really hard to get a residency spot... We just our Dean's letter sent out to proofread, and I must say--mine sounds damn impressive. They do a good job making us look good! So maybe there's a chance :) First I have to graduate and then do סטאז', so there's still time. We'll have to wait and see.

Trying it again

With BA.
Probably saw that coming, right?
I dunno what to tell you. Except that my heart jumped when i saw him, and we hugged and kissed for a very long time, and it just feels good...
So I'm giving it a try.
Not so sure what's going to happen when/if I go to NYC, or when time for my clerkship comes round. But currently the idea is to take things a week at a time. We'll see how that goes.
For now I better get ready for bed.
לילה טוב!!

Hila Gaon dresses

Cute, no? :)
Hila Gaon, an Israeli designer...

Countdown

One year of pre-clinical medical courses- CHECK
One year of study by systems- CHECK
One year of basic clinical rotations- CHECK
One month Pediatrics Sub-I- CHECK
Two months of electives in Jerusalem
One month of elective in NYC
IHM Clerkship
4 two-week selectives

Not that much more to go, huh?
CRAZY!!

BA

הבוקר הוא הקפיץ אותי לבית חולים אחרי עוד לילה נפלא שישנתי אצלו
התנשקנו במכונית לפני שיצאתי––אין לי מילים
כשאני איתו, אני שמחה. זה עושה לי טוב.

‫חוץ מבשיחות שאנחנו ישירות מדברים על העניין הזה של הדת‬––אז אני מתוסכלת לגמרי‬

‫ניסיתי אתמול לנסות להסביר לו משהו שכנראה היה לי פחות ברור לפני כן
הקטע הזה של המסורת מאוד חשוב לי‬
אבל תכלס, אני לא 'דתיה מאמינה' או מה שלא תרצי לקרוא לזה‬

‫בגלל זה אני מסתבכת‬

העניין הוא שאני לא עושה דברים מתוך אמונה
אני רוצה לעשות אותם כי אני מרגישה חלק ממסורת שהיא עתיקה וחשובה והרבה יותר גדולה מהחיים האישיים שלי‬

‫ולכן אני לא מוכנה לוותר על זה
זה קצת משנה את הדרך ההסתכלות שלי
אבל לא את התוצאה הסופית––שאני רוצה לשמור שבת וכו

הוא כל הזמן אומר שבגלל שהוא לא מאמין, אז זה מגוכך לו לעשות את כל הדברים האלה‬

אז ניסיתי להסביר שבשבילי זה לא עושה את זה פחות חשוב רק בגלל שזה לא בא מתוך אמונה
שזה עדיין משהו שאפשר (ולדעתי חשוב) להתחבר אליו‬
אז הוא אמר שכן, אולי אפשר, אבל שזה עושה את זה הרבה יותר קשה להתחבר לזה‬

‫ניסיתי להגיד שכן, ברור שזה קשה, שזה חלק מהסיבה שכל כך קשה לי‬

‫בקטע של–– אף אחד לא הבטיח שיהיה קל‬

‫אבל פשוט הרגשתי שאני לא מצליחה להעביר את מה שרציתי להגיד בצורה שהוא יבין‬

זה כמו להסביר איך נראה צבע אדום לעיוור

אולי אין לו את הרקע שצריך בשביל להבין
וזה נורא מתסכל אותי

:(

What a terrible day!
First I had a bad day at work/school. The ward is hugely understaffed. Rounds took about 4 hours, which is about 3 hours too long. I didn't eat properly, so I ended up going to the hospital cafeteria, which is pretty terrible in and of itself.
Then I came home to discover that sometime between last night after paying for my bus ticket getting on the bus, and the afternoon today, I lost my wallet. So of course I got super stressed. There was even a god amount of money in there, so it's a real bummer.
Then I had to ditch SE who was having a crisis about the breakup with my borhter, and I felt really bad. I had to run off to meet my brother to drive to the טקס. But then my brother got held up... with SE, and I ended up sitting around freaking out about my wallet but not being able to go look for it cuz I was supposed to meet him, for about 45 min.
In the end I had to cancel the creditcards and everything... it's a real disaster, cuz it's really the last thing I need to be dealing with right now.

Aside from that, I'm just so lonely. I sit around not doing anything... With everything seeming to not be going well, I just feel like crying all the time...
On the bus ride last night and tonight I kept thinking alot about BA. It's a real shame that he's so against religion. I'm sure it's also cuz I really miss having someone, and he's the most recent relationship... But I really miss him.
I don't want to do anything stupid, that I'll regret, but I really really miss him :(

K, I better to shower and get to bed.
Early day tomorrow...