End of an Era...

Eden and I ended up giving things a third try. Despite the second crashing and burning rather fast. Things were good for a bit. We both tried. He's really sweet. And he did all the right things. It's really nice to have someone who's there for you, who cares about you. Someone to do things with, to spend time with.
And the sex was great!
Unfortunately, what we had that first time just isn't there anymore. I couldn't let myself fall in love with him again. Perhaps at some level , it's partly because I got really hurt that first time. But I've also been through a lot since then. I found that he's really focused on keeping his past, and where he came from, a really big part of his life. And I'm more looking to discover the future. He wants to make sure he knows what "educated people" are "supposed to know"-- the classic canon of literature, history, art, music, etc. His world is very closed, focused on trying to protect itself. And I don't feel it would necessarily be good for me to try to open it up for him. It's just too much. I want someone who will open up the world for me as much as I do for him. When it came down to it-- I couldn't imagine being with him in the long run. It made me anxious and uneasy just thinking about it.

So, despite the fact that I honestly think he's a great guy and we have a great time together, I'm attracted to him, and he's amazingly supportive and caring, I couldn't see a point in dragging things out anymore. זה פשוט לא זה. So I ended it-- just last night. It was really hard to see him walk away and know that he wasn't ever coming back. We finally broke up what looks like for good. I mean, 3 strikes and you're out, right? But I think it was for the best.